March 2008

We'll I've missed my goal. I didn't get a blog in during the month of February. A lot happened. I went to a Title I conference in Nashville, Valentine's Day came & went, a cousin had a big 70th B-Day Party, attended several basketball games including district tournament and regional basketball tournaments for the Beavers & the Lions. My nephew plays on the Lions team and they're still in it! The final game is this week for the State Championship. I'm very proud. He is a senior and thinks he wants to "go into the services". That's what he calls it. I call it a prison that really limits choices for African-American males. If a young man has an ounce of intelligence or creativity, I wouldn't tell them to go into to the services. Try college & if that doesn't work, then go in the services. I'm tickled as to how he'll like waking up at 5 instead of 12 noon every day. I'd be interested to see if he'll be comfortable in giving up playing XBOX for 10 hours/day; it'll be replaced with running 5 miles, learning discipline, cleaning up, learning to shoot to survive...

Life is full of choices, decisions, & consequences. I really learned this from a cousin who has since passed. We really need to fast forward to the consequences and decide if that's something we really want to do... If the cost for our actions will be worth it... I lost a cousin in February; he was from California. They brought his body back to Arkansas. I thought there would be hundreds of people at his funeral because he had a lot of relatives. It wasn't even like that. I began to wonder who would be at my funeral... What they would say about me... I wonder if my life has said the things I want it to say... How will I know? Just something to think about.

I took the test for Homeland Security. It was cool. A lot of situational questions. As I was sitting there, I wondered what the heck am I doing. Why am I taking this test? Is this something I really want to do? Not really. I'm just disgruntled with my job and planting seeds... seeking other avenues... Hoping God will release me to do something else... Even move somewhere else. I must stay in his will...

We got our taxes done. We are sooooo blessed! I give God the glory. We didn't adopt any kids or lie about anything. God just worked it out. We are givers & the bible says "Give & it shall be given unto you-Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over Men shall give unto your bosom"!

The last weekend in this month was GREAT!! Some classmates & I got together and had a ball. Some said no thanks. I wondered if they just didn't want to be bothered or if for some reason they were ashamed. I hope not. For me the class get togethers and reunion are planned not to get answers to "What are you doing now?" or "How much money are you making?" questions. It is so we can fellowship, reminisce, get away from every day troubles, network, lift each other up, share experiences.

It amazed me and surprised me how some viewed me in school: bossy, serious, a NERD; one of my classmates described me as a breathe of fresh air-something new; vibrant, very outgoing... I must admit I was very serious. A classmate from Silver Springs asked what would I do differently in school. I guess I would have had a little more fun. I was very focused... thought I'd be the 1st African-American female President of the United States of America-long term goal; short term was maybe be governor of my State. Once I got a dose of the real world both these dreams faded. There's a lot of prejudice people in high positions in the State where I'm from. I was so discouraged. Gosh, I've learned so much about dreams & who to share them with & how to put my trust in the Lord-NOT MAN!! If I only knew then what I know now.

That's life-living & learning. It would be really sad to see classmates, or anyone else for that matter, & have them be exactly the same... Still doing what they used to do, saying what they used to say, going where they used to go; that means 20 years would have been wasted! Why be here on this earth if you're not going to grow in some capacity? Not just without growing, but without a purpose. Oh God, why would you keep us here if we didn't have a purpose? If you don't know your purpose, find out what it is & get busy. Time is short. We are only here but for a moment. There's a lot more I'd like to share, but it's late. I hope to get another blog in to make up for February. Later...